Come see us in Philadelphia on January 27, at the Fire!

Although I am disappointed that Philadelphia, Pennsylvania was not selected as one of the many states to receive rail funding rejected by the governors of Ohio, New Jersey, and Wisconsin, I must applaud your toughness in the face of extremist obstruction. Thank you for not only refusing to bend to the demands of these ideologues, but for putting these extremist governors in their place. I am especially pleased that you have refused to let them keep federal funding for projects it wasn’t intended for, exposing their short-sightedness and hypocrisy.

My one criticism, as stated, is that Philadelphia didn’t get a share, which I feel that we deserved having delivered Pennsylvania to the President in 2008. I am wondering if any of our national, state, and local officials contacted you: I hope they did, because our city and state need all the help we can get.

Please consider Pennsylvania the next time a Republican governor tries to play games with transit funding: I am certain that I speak for most Philadelphians, including city leadership, when I say that we will happily take any kind of funding that improves our transit system (the fourth largest in the US), expands transit options between our neighboring cities, and creates jobs for our workers.

Again, thank you for playing hardball. The President is well-served by your dedication and leadership. He could take a few tips in negotiating with intransigent ideologues.

Sincerely,

Brendan Skwire

I learned earlier this year that i may be eligible for income based repayment:

You may enter IBR if your federal student loan debt is high relative to your income and family size. While your lender will perform the calculation to determine your eligibility, you can use the Department’s IBR calculator to estimate if you would likely benefit from the IBR plan. It looks at your income, family size, and state of residence to calculate your IBR monthly payment amount. If that amount is lower than the monthly payment you would be required to pay on your eligible loans under a 10-year standard repayment plan, based on the greater of the amount you owed on your loans when they initially entered repayment, or the amount you owe at the time you request IBR, then you are eligible to repay your loans under IBR.

IBR is recommended for people who work in the non-profit field, or as teachers, cops, firefighters. And best of all, if i work in public service for ten years, i cna get the whole thing forgiven.

I wish I’d done this sooner. By September, i expect to be in school, which means my loans go into deferment (ie, interest doesn’t accrue). When I get done in 2013, I’ll be a teacher. Within ten years, that debt will be discharged. Halle-fucking-lujah.

As I mentioned a few posts ago, this past Tuesday I volunteered to learn a dozen 1940s era pop and swing numbers for delco nightingale, whose substitute bass player decided to be a douchenozzle and back out of a gig with two days’ notice. And while that guy probably has way stronger jazz chops than I do, it’s clear he has no sense of professionalism, and besides, with charts how hard could it be.

-Gulp- Damned hard. Hard enough that when I went to bed Tuesday night, I was worried I’d bitten off more than I could chew. And when I woke up Wednesday morning at 6:20 AM, courtesy of Screamy McScreamsalot next door, I literally felt abject terror, because I knew that A) I wouldn’t be able to find the time to catch up on my sleep and that B) as a result, by the time Wednesday night practice was over (and it was going to be a long one), I would be too busy trying to keep my eyes open to absorb anything.

Wednesday night was indeed a doozy, but it wasn’t until the last half hour or so (11:00, more or less?) that I started to fade in and out of consciousness. Luckily, we’d gotten the news that we only had to play 10 songs, so that was three or four less things I had to learn. And some of the songs, like Elvis’ “Little Egypt” and “Kiss Me Quick” were pretty easy, balancing out the complicated charts that guided me through songs like “Yes, My darling Daughter.”

I got a great night’s sleep that evening, and woke up refreshed and ready to go. The kid next door didn’t give us an early wake-up call, so I got the full eight hours I need to function. I went into work, and put the set on “repeat” on my itunes, reinforcing practice with passive absorption. On the drive down to the World Cafe, the traffic on Chestnut Street was so bad, I had plenty of time to listen to the songs while following along with the chord charts. That helped a lot. By the time i got down to the venue, I was feeling pretty confident.

So anyway, I met up with my bandmates, loaded in, and set up for soundcheck. By the time that was over, we had just about an hour to practice everything, so we retired to the dressing room and began going over each song in order.

[And here I am going to go on a tangent: world cafe live is one of the only clubs in town that really treats performers well, and not just the headliner. One of the main reasons I hate playing Philadelphia, besides the lousy pay, is that the whole process is an ordeal. Outside of WCL, there is not one bar in this city that gives bands a place to park. While this isn't (as much) of an issue in neighborhoods without meters, in center city, you end up circling endlessly looking for a space to park. Then, whether you find a meter or give up and pull into a parking garage, you pay an exorbitant rate. Most of the time, there's not even a loading zone nearby, so you get fucked by one of the corrupt bastards working for the Parking Authority and get a ticket while you haul amps into a shitty bar, even though your hazards are flashing. But i digress...]

Over the course of that hour, we went over pretty much every single song, with the exception of “I Wake Up in the Morning Feeling Fine” as the clock ran out: even there we went over the intro, which sets the stage for everything else. And with that, I buttoned up my red shirt, ran a comb through my pompadour for some extra height, buttoned up my suit jacket, and headed on stage.

And what can I say: last night went… pretty damned good. There were a couple of flubs, but nothing too noticeable. The one real car wreck was on that last song, “I Wake Up in the Morning Feeling Fine”, but I think I covered my ass by making like Zappa’s 1988 album, Make a Jazz Noise Here. I swear to God, I think it worked, because audience members kept telling me how good we were. A number of people actually refused to believe I’d only practiced with Delco twice. And my bandmates seemed really happy as well.

I guess I didn’t bite off too much after all. yay me, for coming through in the clinch.

I want to take a moment, now, to express my deep love for my 1996 Subaru Legacy wagon. This car has a small patch of rust on the passenger side rear door, and sometimes it’s difficult to lock the hatch, but at 215,000 miles, the car has better pickup than my girlfriend’s brand new Honda Fit, it starts reliably, and while the AC isn’t as strong as it could be the heat works great. Selling my gas-guzzling-but-spacious Chevy Astro was probably one of the best decisions I made in my life. While the Legacy is a bit more crowded than the van, I can still fit my upright bass, a guitar, a fiddle, two coolers, a backpack full of clothes, a girlfriend and a 6-year old son in there, with room to spare.

i also want to take a moment to recommend Schummer’s Super Sunoco Servicenter for all my Philadelphia readers. I’ve been getting all my car repairs and inspections done there for at least five years, at the suggestion of Alex, who sometimes comments here. It’s well worth the trip from southwest Philly to their location in the Mayfair neighborhood. They get the job done right, they get it done quickly, they don’t play shenanigans with your bill, and they often go well beyond the call of duty. Their work on my timing belt was a good example: after replacing the broken belt, they couldn’t get the car started because you have to detach a dazzling amount of wires to get to the belt. I think it took them three more days before they got the job all the way done, but they cut me a break on the final price tag because of the delay on their end. that’s good customer service in my book, and I’m happy to recommend them to you as well.

meeting site, photo Erik Bitzek

It was a really interesting experience, and in so many ways. It’s hard to describe the casual self-consciousness you feel when you’re standing around buck-naked with hundreds of other naked people…

…but you get used to it. And yes, I do in fact manscape. In fact, the whole event was high comedy for everyone. Jim and I kept bursting into spontaneous laugh-attacks as we pedaled along, laughing at ourselves and everyone else for participating in something so ridiculous, laughing at the people on the sidewalk who stood there either dumbfounded or keeling over with laughter themselves. Everyone was laughing. How could you not?

It may have started out as a leisurely ride, but once we’d looped around the back of the Art Museum and hit the Ben Franklin Parkway, the pack really got up to speed.

Eakins Oval, photo Erik Bitzek

South Side of City Hall, photo Derek Carnegie

The route was never disclosed publicly, to avoid giving the police an opportunity to block a street on our harmless-but-still-illegal ride. Instead, the ride was an exercise in follow-the-leader, in this case a naked man in his 30s with the “share the road” logo painted on his back:

via Phrequency

I’m pretty sure there was more than one leader, because the pack definitely broke in different directions. After passing by the south side of City Hall, we rode down Broad Street, taking up as many lanes as possible, to Washington Avenue. Everywhere we went, crowds of people cheered and laughed. Heading north up 9th Street, right through the Italian Market someone yelled “You should be embarrassed! You should be ashamed of yourselves!” My buddy Jim yelled back “We should be, but we’re not!” “Whoopeeee!” added a naked girl, titties flopping in the wind. More laughter from everyone.

That’s when we hit South Street. if you’ve ever been to Philadelphia, you know this is a big outdoor shopping area, lots of boutiques, stores, bars, and restaurants. Traffic on this tight one-way street is always slow, and the pack of naked bicyclists just made it worse, weaving between cars idling along the thoroughfare. Honestly, no one knew WHAT to make of us, other than to point and laugh. “Why are you doing this,” a young woman called. “Why not?” I yelled back. I heard someone else yell “why aren’t YOU?”

A number of people wanted to know if all this was even legal. Well, in a word? No. There are laws against “indecent exposure” in the city, but considering none of us were doing anything indecent with our naturally naked bodies, we didn’t expect that the City’s overworked cops were in much of a mood to do anything about it. Not when there are naked girls to gawk at (drop by phrequency or city paper, which has video, for nudity.

Others have asked me whether this was uncomfortable in any way, suggesting chafing. Honestly, the fabric that covers my bike seat is pretty soft and friction-free. there was less chafing than i get when i ride in jeans, a much coarser fabric. Plus, every time i stood up while riding (to get more torque to the pedals) a refreshing breeze blew between my legs. It was comparable to skinny dipping. I could do this every day, no joke.

Speaking of naked girls and being comfortable, I had a wonderful conversation with a young topless woman in blue panties and a butch haircut while zooming down Broad Street. “It’s stuff like this that makes me happy I decided to move to Philly,” she said.

‘Yeah, it’s pretty cool here,” i admitted. “But keep in mind, things are gonna be tough soon and you’ll want a memory like this to see you through.”

“What, you mean, the winter?” she asked.

“No: the budget problem in Harrisburg,” I said. Just two people riding naked down the middle of Broad Street talking state politics, nothing out of the ordinary.

Anyway, back to the route. We followed South Street all the way to the end and crossed the bridge onto the Columbus Boulevard. A group of black kids laughed so hard as we passed by in our glory, they looked like they were going to have seizures. A girl in a white dress just stood and her eyes and mouth as wide as they could go.

No time to look back however: on we sped, north up the boulevard, with a line of bemused cars behind us. Jim took some great video of two guys driving a rental truck, who were literally sobbing from laughing so hard. I hope to have this up later.

Once we hit Spring Garden Street, we headed west, then south again on 5th Street, and north on Market. This time we didn’t just loop City Hall, we went right through.

It was getting dark as we headed south to Rittenhouse Square, where we looped around the park and provided some al fresco entertainment for diners who were enjoying their al fresco meals. Then it was back to Walnut Street, where we headed west until we reached Penn campus and followed Locust Walk right through the University until we reached Woodland Cemetery. By the time we got done following the paved path through the gravestones, it was night time. those riders still with us announced they were heading for the after-party at 5th and Fairmount, but after such a long ride, Jim and I opted to hit a bar in our own neighborhood, which at 10 blocks away was a lot closer.

“Should we get dressed before we head to Dahlak,” I asked Jim?

“Nah, let’s just head down Baltimore Avenue naked.”

and maybe this says more about our neighborhood than anything else: not one person batted an eye. I don’t think anyone even noticed.

check back for updated photos! Jim got some great shots and some funny video that don’t have access to just yet.

You guys are totally freakin’ awesome, and let me know if i can return the favor!

A Spanish court has taken the first steps toward opening a criminal investigation into allegations that six former high-level Bush administration officials violated international law by providing the legal framework to justify the torture of prisoners at Guantánamo Bay, Cuba, an official close to the case said.

The case, against former Attorney General Alberto R. Gonzales and others, was sent to the prosecutor’s office for review by Baltasar Garzón, the crusading investigative judge who ordered the arrest of the former Chilean dictator Augusto Pinochet. The official said that it was “highly probable” that the case would go forward and that it could lead to arrest warrants.

Garzón does NOT fuck around, and he is serious:

Judge Garzón, however, has built an international reputation by bringing high-profile cases against human rights violators as well as international terrorist networks like Al Qaeda. The arrest warrant for General Pinochet led to his detention in Britain, although he never faced a trial. The judge has also been outspoken about the treatment of detainees at Guantánamo Bay.

Spain can claim jurisdiction in the case because five citizens or residents of Spain who were prisoners at Guantánamo Bay have said they were tortured there. The five had been indicted in Spain, but their cases were dismissed after the Spanish Supreme Court ruled that evidence obtained under torture was not admissible.

The 98-page complaint, a copy of which was obtained by The New York Times, is based on the Geneva Conventions and the 1984 Convention Against Torture, which is binding on 145 countries, including Spain and the United States. Countries that are party to the torture convention have the authority to investigate torture cases, especially when a citizen has been abused.

The complaint was prepared by Spanish lawyers, with help from experts in the United States and Europe, and filed by a Spanish human rights group, the Association for the Dignity of Prisoners.

And who’s Garzón looking at?

The complaint under review also names John C. Yoo, the former Justice Department lawyer who wrote secret legal opinions saying the president had the authority to circumvent the Geneva Conventions, and Douglas J. Feith, the former under secretary of defense for policy….

Secret memorandums by Mr. Yoo and other top administration lawyers helped clear the way for aggressive policies like waterboarding and other harsh interrogation techniques, which the C.I.A. director, the attorney general and other American officials have said amount to torture.

The other Americans named in the complaint were William J. Haynes II, former general counsel for the Department of Defense; Jay S. Bybee, Mr. Yoo’s former boss at the Justice Department’s Office of Legal Counsel; and David S. Addington, who was the chief of staff and legal adviser to Vice President Dick Cheney.

Mr. Yoo declined to comment on Saturday, saying that he had not seen or heard of the petition.

Mr. Feith, who was the top policy official at the Pentagon when the prison at Guantánamo was established, said he did not make the decision on interrogation methods and was baffled by the allegations. “I didn’t even argue for the thing I understand they’re objecting to,” he said.

Hey guys: maybe this is the year to see the USA from your Chevrolet (if they even make those cars by summer).

Personally, I hope the Spaniards do to you what you did to others: I hope they kidnap you right off the street and, using “extraordinary rendition”, send you someplace for some of that “enhanced interrogation” you’re so fond of.

PLEASE OH PLEASE OHP PLEASE OH PLEASE!