Ennui Malaise
Ennui Malaise. Not the band, me.
Maybe it’s because I spent the weekend rippin’ it up (and by that I mean, rockin til 2:00 AM with two different bands two different nights, digging a brand new bed in the front yard and planting lilies in it, and entertaining Monday afternoon), but i am bored as bored can be right now, with everything. Job, life, career…
I’ll be honest: I feel like i’ve been in a holding pattern since 2005. I’m pursuing a career I have very little interest in because I need to pay my child support and my loans. I enjoy the Dill Pickles, but I am pining to be on the road again with a touring band that plays big rooms. I love my house and my garden, but I am also disgusted and bored with the US and Philadelphia, and want to move elsewhere: Britich Columbia, Mexico, Spain, Scandinavia. I want to get certified to teach so I have summers off for Sam: is that motivation enough to get up 9 months of the year at 5:00 AM to lecture a bunch of 15 year olds about Shakespeare and Comp 101? I’m not so sure…
I could write more but, as the title of this post suggests, the ennui is getting in the way.
I need a change. A real change. Sometimes the only thing that keeps me moving forward is looking at pictures of my son. I think I’ll do that right now.
May 26th, 2009 at 5:04 pm
mmmmmmm Bee Cee.
May 26th, 2009 at 5:06 pm
Work’s work and will always be work. Rx: Time for some “good times.” Sounds like a trip is in order. If you can’t move, you can still go, for a while.
May 27th, 2009 at 7:56 am
Rent your house. Move to Boston. I just got a new roommate but it’s a month-to-month deal and there are tons of housing opportunities in Somerville. Job prospects are daunting, but start applying and some company might give you a reason to leave.
May 27th, 2009 at 4:35 pm
Think of what you do have- a job with enough income to pay your bills and keep a roof over your head, in a town that has a decent music scene.
Most of the time, I’d rather be bored than worried.
May 28th, 2009 at 9:42 am
@alex: true that. and life just got interesting again.