And Now a Gratuitous Boob Post
Earlier this month, Meghan McCain vented about dating during and after the election:
Nothing makes me more ill than the idea of some guy bragging to his friends that he was going to go on a date with “John McCain’s daughter.” (Unfortunately this has happened more times than I would like to count and each time I can sense it within the first 30 seconds of meeting them.) One extreme fan of my mother’s recently told me I could be “his Cindy.” And then asked me if I ever wore pearls because they probably would look as good on me as they do on my mother. No, I’m not kidding. Any guy that has a fetish for older women in pantsuits and large pearls obviously only finds my last name attractive about me.
But the real problem with men who voted for my dad is that I never know to what degree of a fan they are of his. Are they so extreme that they would date me no matter how much they may or may not like me just to meet my dad? Once I went out with a guy who said the food I had ordered was a “maverick choice” and proceeded to tell me, “Wow, straight talking must run in the family.” It’s like someone taking Lisa Marie Presley out on a date and singing “Hound Dog” in the middle of dinner.
I don’t know what kind of guys Meghan McCain has been meeting but speaking for myself?
As the King said, “She’s beautiful, she’s rich, she’s got huge… tracts of land!”. That’s right: presented with the opportunity to get my lascivious mitts on those glorious, um, tracts of land, the last thing I’d be talking about is John McCain, Barack Obama, OR either of their wives. And by “last” I mean it wouldn’t even make it into the discussion: no matter what I said about Meghan’s old man, good or bad, it would obliterate my chances of trespassing on those tracts of land. that’s why I’d be talking about the weather, the food, the shitty music Meghan listens to, blogging, anything other than politics. Because let’s face it, if a guy is that much more interested in the girl’s dad (any girl’s dad), that guy does not have his eyeses on the prizes.
Plus she hates Ann Coulter, supports gay rights and stem cell research, and voted for Kerry. And she stands to inherit one of the largest beer distribution companies in the nation. Sure, she’s wrong about the war in Iraq, but I’ll give her some slack: she’s from a military family and her brother’s over there.
And yeah, you can call me sexist, objectivist, or whatever all you want. All i know is that, compared to the guys Meghan’s been dating, I actually have skills.
Man, Christina’s gonna kill me when she gets home…
March 30th, 2009 at 4:56 pm
[...] …is my paean to Meghan McCain’s breasts. [...]