Nebraska Cat Bong
Back in my stoner days (whaddya mean “back”, skwire, you ain’t kidding anyone!), my buddy Paul and i would sneak behind my parents’ garage to get high, inevitably followed by the family dog Bo, who enjoyed getting a faceful of exhaled dank. No lie: you could see the dog’s eyes light up when Paul dropped over, and he’d follow us right out the back door.
But I have NEVER done anything this fucking insane:
A man who tried to cool out his hyper cat by stuffing her into a boxlike homemade bong faces cruelty charges — and catcalls from animal lovers.
Lancaster County sheriff’s deputies responding to a domestic disturbance call Sunday alleged they saw 20-year-old Acea Schomaker smoking marijuana through a piece of garden hose attached to a duct-taped, plastic glass box in which the cat had been stuffed.
Thanks to Nebraska’s liberal pot laws (they hate homos and abortions, but man do those corn farmers get baaaaaaaaked), Acea probably won’t face any major drug charges, but as for tormenting that poor little kitty, i say throw the book at the motherfucker. it’s one thing to blow pot smoke in your cat’s face: god knows the little buggers get frazzled off catnip. But to actually put the cat in the chamber of your bong?
Dude, what the hell is WRONG with you???
March 4th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
Stuffing a cat in a box is NOT calming, or cool. What idiots. Look at the trouble they went through to make that torture chamber, with knobs, plexiglass, hose, and all of the duct tape. Looks like a prototype for some future insane idea. I say lock them up, and examine their heads.