While Millions Starve, Philadelphia Wallows in Gluttony
This normally isn’t the kind of thing I pay attention to but given the global calamity, the already disgusting Wing Bowl is even more nauseating than usual.
Media coverage has grown to the point where every one of the major Philadelphia television stations has covered the event. The ABC, CBS and Fox affiliates all aired live reports from the event during their morning news. Features on the event have appeared in The Philadelphia Inquirer and Daily News as well as a host of newspapers in the surrounding counties. The event has been featured on ESPN and the syndicated television shows Real TV and The Montel Williams Show. Segments on Wing Bowl have appeared on TV newscasts in cities throughout the country. Several Wing Bowl contestants, including “El Wingador,” competed in Fox’s “Glutton Bowl” in the spring of 2002. The 2007 Wing Bowl was carried on Comcast Cable’s On Demand channel.
If ever there was evidence that the so-called mainstream media has become completely unnecessary and irrelevant to real life in Philadelphia, this is it. With Philadelphia facing an out-of-control budget crisis, with the mayor already calling for the closure of libraries, pools, and fire engines while promising more cuts are on the way, is this REALLY how our local media should be spending their time? Where are the investigative reports into which corporations owe the city the most taxes? Oh that’s right; there are chicken wings to eat.
Where are the man-on-the-street interviews in neighborhoods losing fire engines? Oh that’s right: there are chicken parts to scarf down and regurgitate up:
Contestants will compete to eat as many chicken wings as possible. The contest will be split into two (2) 14-minute periods, with a short break after each, followed by a final 2-minute period and tie-breaking rounds as necessary.
If a contestant purges or vomits at any point during the competition, he will immediately be disqualified. As they say, “if your heave, you leave.”
When food banks like Philabundance can’t keep up with demand, isn’t a little hypocritical to lionize competetive eaters?
Those 28 remaining contestants and their qualifying stunts are:
* Randall Patrick Bertoletti – 2nd ranked IFOCE member Randall Patrick Bertoletti. Bertoletti ate 5lbs of sourcream in 1 minute, 45 seconds.
* Humble Bob – 7th ranked IFOCE member Bob Shoudt of Royersford, PA. Stoudt ate 53 hardboiled eggs in 15 minutes.
* Ted Bundy Serial Wing Killer – 12th ranked IFOCE member Erik “the Red” Denmark of Seattle, WA. Denmark won his spot at a Philadelphia 76ers game.
* Wing Kong – 17th ranked IFOCE member Micah Collins of Drexel Hill, PA. Collins ate 5lbs of SpaghettiOs® in 1 minute 14 seconds.
* Steakbellie – 21st ranked IFOCE member Eric Livingston of Drexel Hill, PA. Livingston ate the full McDonald’s $1 menu in 5 minutes 30 seconds.
* Dr. Bigtime – 23rd ranked IFOCE member Juris Shibayama of Murfreesboro, TN. Shibayama ate 1 dozen Krispy Kreme donuts in 1½ minutes.
* Big Brian – 24th ranked IFOCE member Brian Subich of Johnstown, PA. Subich ate 3 “Fat Bitch” sandwiches in 7 minutes, 53 seconds.
* Baby Wally – Waleed Yousef of Jenkintown, PA. Yousef ate a 4½ lb burrito in 4 minutes 45 seconds.
* Boring John – John McGinnis of West Chester, PA. McGinnis ate 18 pierogies in 3 minutes.
* Brad the Lunatic Sciullo – 26th ranked IFOCE member Brad Sciullo of Pittsburgh, PA. Sciullo was a “Wing Off” winner.
* Damaging Doug – Doug Canavin of Folcroft, PA. Canavin was a “Wing Off” winner.
* Dan The Cop – Dan Calter of Philadelphia, PA. Calter drank 12 oz. of maple syrup in 7 seconds.
* Dave the Dumpster – Dave Moyer of Trappe, PA. Moyer ate 610 mini marshmellows in 3 minutes 59 seconds.
* Dr. Digestion – Brett Daniels of Columbia, PA. Daniels ate a “12 Days of Christmas Feast” in 15 minutes.
* El Zorro – Julio Davila of Vineland, NJ. Davila ate 6 pasteillos in 3½ minutes.
* Gabe Cocktail – Gabe O’Brien of Newtown Square, PA. O’Brien ate 3 lbs of shrimp in 4 minutes.
* Gentleman Jerry – Jerry Coughlan of Clifton Heights, PA. Coughlan was a “Wing Off” winner.
* Jerry The Assassin – Jerry Virgi of Northeaast Phila., PA. Virgi ate 3 one-foot teriyaki hoagies in 8 minutes.
* Obi Wing – Doug Petock of Valley Forge, PA. Petock ate 3 melons with skin and rinds.
* The Bull Dog – John Delvecchio of Philadelphia, PA. John Delvecchio ate 50 meatballs in 5 minutes.
* The Caveman – Michael Casciano of Birdsboro, PA. Casciano was a “Wing Off” winner.
* The Natural – Jeff Olson of Wilmington, DE. Olson ate 1 lb of peanut butter in 4 minutes.
* The Unfit Fitter – Eric Wheeler of Philadelphia, PA. Wheeler ate 5 lbs of scrapple in 3½ minutes.
* The Unknown Eater – Michael Sarian of Langhorne, PA. Sarian was the Slack’s Hoagies Shack winner eating 17 12-inch pieces of “The Godfather Hoagie” and “The Mitch Williams Wild Thing Hoagie” in 14 minutes.
* US Male – IFOCE member Dave Goldstein of Voorhees, NJ. Goldstein 4lbs of Sloppy Joe’s in 4 minutes.
* Wing King – Paul Sakelarides of Perkiomeville, PA. Sakelarides was a “Wing Off” winner.
* Wing Tut – Elliott Maruffi of Audubon, NJ. Maruffi was a “Wing Off” winner.
* Wolfman – Tom Wolf of Pottstown, PA. Wolf was the “Studio Wing Off” winner eating 16 wings in 5 minutes.
Feeling sick yet? I know I am. But wait, there’s more!
Prizes:
The overall winner of Wing Bowl 16 will receive a 2008 Toyota Tundra, valued at approximately $23,816, courtesy of Liberty Toyota/Scion.The eater who can take out the most wings in the first round of Wing Bowl 16 will receive a 2008 Harley Davidson motorcycle 883 Sportster, valued at $9000, from Barbs Harley Davidson.
Hey, Wing Bowlers! Here’s an idea: why not donate that money to local or international hunger relief programs instead of driving around in a wasteful and expensive 4-door pickup truck or fancy-pants motorcycle? There are people who need the money and the food a lot more than you do.
More at Phawker and Collateral News.
January 26th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
[...] courtesy Brendan, who has a lot more details and statistics, if you can–er–stomach them. [...]
January 27th, 2009 at 10:23 am
[...] original post here: While Millions Starve, Philadelphia Wallows in Gluttony Filed under: Denmark Blogs Tags: bread and circuses, economy, food, food security, [...]
January 27th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
Isn’t it sad? I just don’t know what to say anymore. The reporting of any real news at this point, may just be greeted with a quick flick of the remote. Does the public really want the truth? After they have been fed so much worthless shit, for so long, will it be able to hold their attention?
The teevee news just angers me anymore. I don’t watch it.
January 27th, 2009 at 6:00 pm
me neither. I read blogs, which in many ways are making newspapers and tv news irrelevant, including the weather forecast!
January 28th, 2009 at 12:38 am
As an FYI — over $100k is raised for charity in this event. I believe it goes to Philadelphia Police charities.
January 29th, 2009 at 9:21 pm
[...] economic difficulties that have hit Philadelphia, perhaps now is a fair time to take a look at the other side of Wing Bowl. If ever there was evidence that the so-called mainstream media has become completely unnecessary [...]
February 2nd, 2009 at 6:30 pm
[...] every year since it started and kept quiet about it, but no longer (Brendan Calling has already beaten me to it, I see, and Dan Rubin; good for them, but I’m only too glad to add to the contrarian [...]