Christine Flowers is Hammurabi
There was a horrible killing last week in the subway: a bunch of kids beat up a random stranger, who had a fatal asthma attack and died.
Everybody duck, because if there’s one thing that calls up the Howler Monkey known as Christine Flowers, it’s a senseless act of violence. And how does Christine Flowers recommend society respond to this violence? With even more violence.
But let’s assume the juveniles are guilty of murder. Let’s throw in “hate crime,” too, since the victim was white. (Never ignore the race angle, right?)
So what’s the next step? Do we extend to the attackers the same type of mercy they showed their victim? Do we lay them out on the ground and beat the life out of them like they did to Sean Patrick Conroy?
NO, WE’D TRIP OVER the Eighth Amendment.…
So if we can’t even execute the assassin of a police officer (reaffirmed by courts on all levels), who really believes the murderers of a sweet and gentle civilian will get the punishment they truly deserve? (Especially since the Supreme Court banned the execution of juveniles.)
The kids who murdered Sean Patrick Conroy are indeed monsters, but someone who openly calls for the execution of children is also a monster. And someone who publishes those views in response to the murder is ALSO a monster. I’m talking to you Sandra Shea: what the fuck are you trying to do, instigate a race riot?
Flowers’ unique vision of “justice” would make her a perfect candidate for the Iranian criminal courts, which is ironic since Flowers can be counted on to dash off screeds warning us the Fearsome Musselman is coming to behead us all. Never mind the Bill of Rights or the presumption of innocence (it’s shameful to admit that Flowers is a lawyer), just hand that woman a bucket of stones and a scimitar to cut off the hands of would-be thieves.
I’ve come to expect this kind of irresponsibility from Flowers, but the Daily News is not helping the violence problem in our city when they publish this kind of whacked-out medieval “kill ‘em all and let god sort ‘em out” shit. And that doesn’t even touch on the race/class issues that always lie at the heart of a Flowers’ diatribe.
The last thing this city needs is calls for MORE violence in the wake of a senseless murder: it is incredibly tasteless, for the Daily News to publish Ms. Flowers’ column, which takes the Supreme Court to task for banning the execution of juveniles and mocks the protections of the Eighth Amendment. I don’t care what the crime is, we are a nation of laws. All Flowers does is add fuel to the fire in an effort to further outrage and infuriate an already outraged community, and the Daily News is equally out of bounds for publishing a rant that makes the mullahs in Iran look reasonable. The column adds nothing to the conversation.
I don’t like what happened in the subway anymore than anyone else does. But Jesus fucking Christ, every fucking time there’s a violent crime, it’s like Christine Flowers’ twat just gets soaked with bloodlust, and she can’t stop rubbing the hot spot.
Honestly, reading her column today really IS like witnessing Flowers’ masturbating about killing. She starts slow, with the Samantha Powers comments, and by the time she gets to “Do we lay them out on the ground and beat the life out of them like they did to Sean Patrick Conroy? NO, WE’D TRIP OVER the Eighth Amendment.” she’s red in the face, huffing and puffing, and the Hitachi Magic Wand is buzzing a miler a minute, and there’s Astro-Glide all over the place, until holy-sweet-fucking-jesus-there-it-is she climaxes, rolls over, and drifts off to post-orgasmic sleep mumbling “monsters… monsters”.
Except it’s not Astro-Glide: I’m convinced Flowers uses blood for lubricant.
One Response to “Christine Flowers is Hammurabi”
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April 2nd, 2008 at 5:16 pm
Thanks! I’ll never look at Astro-Glide the same again.