Oh For the Love Of…
I haven’t blogged much about For Better or For Worse lately, since it’s kind of become a this weird hybrid of repeats and strips not written by Lynn Johnston, but yesterday’s “Marriage of Liz and Anthony” strip just takes the cake for ridiculousness.
To recap a bit: Granthony and Liz have been carrying on this completely unrealistic chaste relationship for god-knows-how-long even without the distraction of competing love interests. The writers let the cat out of the bag long ago that these two characters were going to be paired, and yet the pace has been frustratingly slow, a completely unnecessary dance in which Lizzie lives separately from Granthony (why? who knows) and gets midnight visits from her ex-boyfriend Warren that she worries will anger the wuss she’s already explicitly chosen. It’s all very puerile.
I’m not quite sure what the worst aspect of today’s strip is, but Lizzie’s eyes in the penultimate panel are in the running. Her pupils are drawn so huge, it’s like she dropped a dozen hits of high-powered blotter acid. Maybe that’s why she yells “yeaaah!”, because she’s seeing little purple polka-dotted Howard Deans crawling the walls.
Or maybe her eyes are welling up in tears as she envisions the miserable, sexless future she’s chosen for herself. After all, who on earth proposes like that? “We’ve been friends for so long, I think we could be good partners.” WTF? My girlfriend
looked at that and said “if you EVER propose to me like that I’ll kill
you.” I’m no romantic, and even I’m offended by this mechanically delivered poop of a proposal. That’s no recipe for romantic love, or any kind of love at all. Liz and Anthony’s upcoming nuptials sound like they’ll more like the culmination of a business contract than anything else. I don’t even want to imagine the stiff, awkward, and passionless contortions in their wedding bed either, but honestly I can’t help it.Liz lying on her back like the Bride of Frankenstein, just waiting for Granthony to freaking get it over with, saying things like “that’s not it, that’s not it either, ugh now I’m dry again, get the canola oil” until finally Granthony thinks really really hard about Yenny and Olive Oyl in a lesbian embrace, prematurely ejaculates and ruins the new sheets, to Lizzie’s chagrin and relief.
Over at the FOOBiverse they’re calling it the “Settleproposal” which fits perfectly.
One Response to “Oh For the Love Of…”
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March 14th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
Awwwh. Now you’ve gone and ruined the ending. Where is Zippy when you need him?