Philadelphia Patronage Authority, Part 2.
There was never much leeway if you spent five minutes too long at Kiehl’s testing hand cream. Since the Philadelphia Parking Authority has beefed up, however, providing so many patronage jobs that pad-wielding enforcement officers patrol every break-your-mother’s-back seam in the sidewalk, enforcement has grown brutal.
Thus on Tuesday, at 3:31 p.m. – less than 60 seconds after the meter expired – Princessikea Thompson was nailed.
It may seem as if the Parking Authority is doing right by the city, enforcing regulations to keep spaces turning over for retail shoppers and people who need to get in and out of offices on business.
But the agency’s success – 1.6 million violations issued, 50,000 towed vehicles, and $192 million in revenue, very little of which is reinvested in city services – has generated enormous resentment.
“I have friends who refuse to shop in Center City because of the parking,” said Sharon Gordon as she wedged a “broken meter” note into a jammed handle, hoping to escape a fine while she went to Daffy’s to return a pair of shoes. “The Parking Authority is atrocious.”
I’m one of those people that refuses to go to Center City unless I absolutely have to because I hate the thieves at the Parking Authority. They are everywhere, worthless vultures who do nothing but steal your money. I use the term “steal” because those fines are supposed to go to the Philadelphia Public School District, not patronage jobs that pay $100,000 a year, and certainly not to support the Republican machine.
When I pick up my homebrew supplies, i park in the nearby loading zone, where I can park for thirty minutes for free. When I go to Drinking Liberally, 90% of the time I ride my bike. If I drive, I search for spaces blocks below South Street: it’s a hike tot he bar sometimes, but the thieving vultures don’t patrol Fitzwater Street. When I’m driving, if I end up behind a Parking Authority Van, I ALWAYS turn on my high beams. When one of their vehicles winds up behind me, I slow to a crawl, and randomly hit my brakes in an effort to get rear-ended: the law says it’s always the fault of the person doing the rear-ending, and I could use a couple of extra bucks.
But in terms of going to shows in Center City? I just won’t go. I’m not willing to feed $20.00 in quarters into the meter to avoid getting a ticket: that’s about the cost of a typical PPA fine anyway! Because SEPTA’s subways close down long before bars and music venues close, taking the El isn’t an option either. I rarely dine out in Center City for the same reasons, and why the hell should I, when I can park for free and with impunity in Northern Liberties and enjoy their restaurants instead?
It’s a downright shame: not for me, because I can always find something to do somewhere, but for the merchants, restaurants, and venues in Center City, none of who get my business because of these fucks.
Read the comments at the linked article and see how many times you read things like “fuck Philadelphia, there are plenty of suburban malls that will let me park for free.”
It would be one thing if the fines the Patronage Authority was hitting us with were benefiting Philadelphians, but they’re not. The promised money for schools never showed up: instead, some douchebag Republican sycophant got a $100,000 a year job, and the authority got a bunch of SUV’s, and who get sweet perks like take-home privileges, free gas, and free parking. All on the backs of Philadelphia’s schoolchildren, who are supposed to be getting the money. And these petty thieves are rude too:
With the feverish efficiency of one of those buy-all-you-can-in-under-15-minutes game-show winners, Thompson and a friend spent $90 on gifts, grabbed the bags and hauled . . . well, ran back quickly to the car. There, they found a Parking Authority agent writing a $41 ticket. “I’m here,” Thompson said.
Without looking up, the agent continued copying the license plate number.
“I’ll fight it,” Thompson said calmly.
“Don’t waste your time,” the officer said. “We can write our first ticket at 3:31.”
“How realistic is that?” Thompson asked. “I wasn’t gone more than 15 minutes.” The officer tore off the violation, slipped it into an envelope, and tried to hand it to Thompson, who was loading her shopping bags and the puppy, into the car. “I advise you to take this. It will be more expensive if they have to mail it to you,” the agent said.
Thompson refused to accept it – on principle.
Someone in a uniform is going to get punched in the face, or worse, one of these days, and in all likelihood, the assailant will take that book of tickets so he/she can’t be identified. You can see it coming a mile away: Philadelphians are some of the nicest people I’ve ever met, but they can be major hardasses as well. A substantial portion of this town is extremely comfortable with physical violence, and it’s a problem just waiting to happen.
December 10th, 2007 at 3:13 am
Great post. I disagree with one point though: you call it “a problem just waiting to happen”, but I think of it as a solution just waiting to happen.”
December 10th, 2007 at 6:33 pm
Well I guess it won’t be too long before we get to hear the PPA’s side of things:
December 11th, 2007 at 2:15 am
Hopefully the series will also include some righteous beat-downs by drivers.