Phone Calls to Stupid Democrats
In the aftermath of the Democrat Party’s self-defeating and moronic vote to condemn MoveOn, the largest grassroots antiwar and progressive group in the US, which has showered the Democrat Party with volunteers on the ground and millions in donations, I’ve been having some fun on the phone.
Bob Casey’s office was the first and longest, especially after the receptionist hung up on, forcing me to call back. I pointed out that not only had MoveOn endorsed Bob Casey, which didn’t exactly thrill Pennsylvania progressives, considering his stance on stem cell research, abortion, but that Casey had failed to do what he promised: he hasn’t ended the war, he hasn’t restored habeas corpus. “This is a waste of my time and money to have him in DC voting for symbolic legislation, especially legislation that attacks the very people who supported him and helped him win public office. And if he’s your senator, you should be embarrassed too.”
“Actually Sir, my Senator is Jim Webb.”
“Oh really? Well guess what? In 2006, as a MoveOn volunteer I helped Jim Webb get elected. I did phone banking for him from here in Philadelphia. I think I may have even contributed to his campaign, through MoveOn. And this is the thanks we get?
“Sir, I am a taxpayer, a parent, and a homeowner in Philadelphia, and I am not going to have my good faith efforts thrown in my face. MoveOn has done a hell of a lot more than Bob Casey to end this war, and for him and the Democrats to vote to condemn a freakin’ ad when they can’t even accomplish what they promised to do is pathetic. He makes $165,200 a year: that’s my money. I pay for that. He’s wasting my money and my time on the Senate floor to insult me and thousands of others who supported him through MoveOn.
“And speaking of pay, people like me who support MoveOn don’t get paid for this. We do this because we’re dedicated to our country and want to change it for the better. We’re like a free pool of volunteers for Democrats and this is the thanks we get? What do you call someone who turns his back on you when you’ve done everything in your power to help them? What do you call a two-faced person like that?”
“Sir, I don’t know if I know the answer to that question.”
“The answer is RAT. A two-faced rat who just kicked his friends in the teeth. Please tell the Senator that I’m not supporting him anymore. I was all ready to tell people how great Casey was for his votes on habeas corpus and the Webb Amendment, both of which failed by the way, and then he had to go do this.
“I’ll tell you what I did yesterday. I gave $25.00 to MoveOn, which could have gone to a Democrat. And I’ll tell you something else: I was talking to other MoveOn members, and we agreed that if there’s one good thing that came out of this is that we now know who deserves our money and who doesn’t. Good luck on your next campaign, cus you’re not getting OUR help.”
Then I called Pat Leahy’s office. It’s been a tough year for old Pat.
“Hi there,” I said, skipping the formal introduction. “You know a lot of people say the Democrat Party is useless and that you can’t get anything done. I think that’s unfair. Sure, you haven’t been able to end the war, or restore habeas corpus, or enforce the Judiciary Committee’s subpoenas, or compel Harriet Miers to testify, or stop the warrantless wiretapping program, but at least you were able to pass a symbolic resolution that MoveOn is mean. And they are. Mean, I mean. Very very mean. How dare they say mean things about a four star general: his virgin ears have probably NEVER EVER even heard a four letter word before, never mind a mean ad like that.”
“Yes sir, we get the–”
“You know what? I was wondering if you could pass a symbolic resolution saying Jason Peters was mean for beating up me, Brendan Skwire, every recess during 7th Grade.”
“Sir, we get the–”
“Or maybe a resolution that horsies are nice.”
-click-
Then I called Jim Webb’s office. He was losing to George Allen until the “macaca” comment surfaced, and MoveOn jumped into the fray with volunteers, phone banks, and money. Webb won by less than 8,000 votes.
Again dispensing with any geographic information that might send me directly to voicemail, I announced that I was a Democrat and a MoveOn member.
“Do you understand how insulting and pointless this vote was?” I asked the woman on the other end of the phone. “I’m not even a constituent: I volunteered my time and energy to phone bank for Jim Webb from up here in Philadelphia because MoveOn said he was a good candidate. Senator Webb can’t even get his own amendment passed and he wastes the taxpayers’ time and money with a stupid vote like this? How can I see this as anything but a big middle finger? How can anyone who volunteered to help Webb through MoveOn see this as anything but a repudiation of our efforts in his interest?
“I can tell you this ma’am: MoveOn is going to be a lot more careful of who they spend their, I mean OUR, money on. This is a volunteer effort.” It’s true. Every election year, MoveOn polls its members to see who they want to support.
“I just gave $25.00 to MoveOn that could have gone to a Democrat. Do you think anyone from MoveOn is going to be excited about helping out Jim Webb when he’s up for re-election, after he’s essentially told us to go to hell?
“Please tell Senator Webb that he’s lost my support, and that I won’t be doing anything to help his re-election. I’m refuse to be treated like that.”
“I’ll pass it along sir.”
“Thank you. Oh, and tell Senator Webb I hope he has a nice primary.”
One Response to “Phone Calls to Stupid Democrats”
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September 21st, 2007 at 3:02 pm
You hit the nail on the head. For those of us who voted to end the war last November, our strategy is clear. First, in the Democratic primaries, we must vote out all incumbents. They’re cowards and don’t deserve our support. Then in the main elections, we vote for the Democratic nominees who, based on the primary results, will have actually gotten the message this time.
I can’t understand it. They put a funding bill on Bush’s desk and asked him to veto it so they could pass the one he wanted. They cave in to a filibuster threat without actually forcing the Republicans to actually carry out the filibuster. I wanna see all those ailing prostates peeing into bottles in order to stay on the floor reading from the Bible.
Assholes…