Cranks and Idiots
I lost an extensive post wrote today mocking the Washington Post’s idiot savant extraordinaire Anne Applebaum, who today made the bizarre argument that Osama bin Laden’s latest rant (if not a psy-op) was targeting those who have lost their homes in the recent housing market implosion to rise up in jihad, before making a completely unrelated leap to “disaffected young people” who listen to death metal and are “always looking for a cause”. I shit you not:
Before you fall over laughing, think again. It would only take a very few such converts to do a lot of damage. The results of the Soviet Union’s massive propaganda campaign on behalf of world Marxist revolution were also numerically small but at the time were considered quite effective: the Baader-Meinhof gang, the Italian Red Brigades, the Weather Underground. There are always disaffected young people — Gadahn himself is a former fan of “death metal” rock bands — and they’re always looking for a cause.
At first i was upset that I’d lost the post, but then I realized that I’d gotten bogged down in responding to it: honestly, how do you respond to an argument that careens from one half-baked statement to the next, with no evidence to back anything up? It’s the rhetorical equivalent of “Hey you kids! Get offa my lawn!”, or when my grandmother told me she blamed the Beatles for getting kids hooked on pot. You just nod your head politely (if you’re nice) and try to change the subject.
Later on in the day, I realized there is absolutely nothing of value on the Washington Post Op-Ed page. The unsigned editorials are wearily predictable, mendacious, and worst of all written with the elan, style, and passion of a brown paper bag. The columnists are worse. Today’s edition, for example, featured Richard Cohen babbling something about some scholarly paper having to do with Israel that even if artfully written would leave all but the academics muttering “wtf?”, token black guy Eugene Robinson stating the obvious and ripping off atrios (and if you object to my characterization of Robinson, compare him to a truly stellar writer like Bob Herbert at the Times, whose contributions to journalism are a joy to read, gems), token liberal EJ Dionne claiming that opposition to the war didn’t grow over the summer, and the unholy triumverate of George Will/Charles Krauthammer/Bob Novak spewing their 50 year old schtick about conservatism that even they don’t believe anymore. Oh and former Bush speechwriter Michael Gerson, who is the literary equivalent of my penis, and looks like like my scrotum if my scrotum wore glasses and had a bad haircut.
There is literally nothing of value on the page. None of the investigative genius of a Bob Herbert or [the admittedly flawed] Nick Kristof. None of the analysis of a Paul Krugman (Bob Samuelson? That guy’s been yapping about supply side economics since before I had hair between my legs: he was wrong then and he’s wrong now).
And I thought to myself, “does anybody actually READ this shit?” I mean, I know people who forward me every Paul Krugman column that comes out. I’ve rarely read a Frank Rich column that doesn’t pique my interest. Even Maureen Dowd, self-absorbed twat that she is, cranks out an entertainign column. The LA Times had Richard Scheer, the Chicago papers have Steve Chapman (and used to have Royko).
For a major paper, the Washington Post’s op-ed page is as picayune, parochial, and small-minded as the Springfield Penny Saver. I have no idea how to get a job there, but I want one. My bullshit is twice as well written as theirs, and a hell of a lot funnier.
Except that “disaffected youth and their death metal” shit: that was priceless. Applebaum should get an award for that one.
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