Comments
Everytime I turn around
A hideous form is standing there
The fucking cops are bad enough
Why should I see YOU everywhere?
–I Was: The Crucifucks
As I’ve written before, one of the best aspects of blogging is the comments, because it gives me an opportunity to learn from my readers.
However, over the past month or so, I’ve been infected with this awful troll who seems to think my comments are his forum to act the contrarian. It’s like a black cloud, the turd in my personal punchbowl. It’s like me coming into your house, shitting on the floor, and saying What’re you gonna do about it?”
My troll makes a big deal about his income, as if income is any measure of a person’s worth. Some of the best people I know are dirt poor, and some of the biggest douchebags I know have fat wallets. The fact is, a douchebag is a douchebag, whether he’s rich or poor.
For that matter, my troll makes a big deal about my income, or what he perceives as a lack therewith. Those of you who know me of course know that while I’m no Donald Trump, I own my own house, and pay practically nothing for the mortgage thanks to my housemates.
And then of course, there’s the constant oneupsmanship, whether it’s facetious arguments about what type of mail the President believes he can illegally open, the benefits of Pinochet’s regime to the Chilean economy, or the positive economic effect Hitler had on Germany during the Third Reich. Who wants to even give that kind of nonsense the time of day, especially when the topic at hand is “Ham: The Acme of Cured Meats”?
Comments are great, but the fact is I have a lot of visitors (about 300 a day) and more than 90% of you don’t comment. I’m getting really tired of reading the same stupid bullshit comments from some asshole who I don’t even know on virtually every post I write. It makes blogging less fun for me, and probably for my readers as well. Yes, I enjoy writing for an audience, but something tells me the people who genuinely enjoy my work here aren’t going to leave if they can’t comment. And while I enjoy the feedback, my troll makes my comments something like going to the movies in Philadelphia, where the audience talks back to the screen so loudly no one can enjoy the fucking film.
So with that in mind, I’m shutting down comments. I can’t stop the douchebag from showing up here, but I can certainly deny him a platform to annoy. Judging from the quality and relevance of his comments, that’s the only reason the guy comes by anyway.
To the rest of you, I’m sorry it’s come to this: you can thank my dickweed troll, who I’m sure is gleeful that he’s been able to cause more disruption. In this case I think it’s a case of “be careful what you wish for”: the only reason trolls exist is to get people to pay attention to them, to get a reaction like a stupid child who needs a good long time-out (if not good old-fashioned thrashing). Well pal, you got your reaction, and now you’ll have to go find someone else to annoy. Oh sure, he’ll still be able to drop a turd or two in older posts, but considering the quantity of my posts, those older entries will be way back in the archives within a few weeks, essentially forgotten.
Those of you who comment regularly probably know my email address, so if you have something to add to a given topic, just drop me a line.
[UPDATE: You actually CAN thank my troll in the posts below this one, where comments are still open. He's from Dallas, so use easy words.].
