How Do You Teach a Kid to Read?
“Hello?”
“Hey it’s just us. I’m calling so you can say hi to the boy. Oh, by the way? How do you teach a kid to read?”
“How the heck should I know? I don’t have kids.”
“Yes you do, you have Sam!”
“Well yeah, but I only get him for a week every other month. How the hell would you expect me to have any idea about teaching him to read, I never see him!”
“Yeah, I guess that’s true.” [You "guess"? That's just a simple fucking fact.] “God, I just asked a simple question…”
“Well, I’ll be at my folks tonight, I’ll ask them. And I’ll ask some of the people at work who, you know, get to see their kids all the time.
“How do you teach a kid to read? By example: read to him. Get easy books like Hop on Pop, Green Eggs and Ham, Go Dog Go and stuff like that.”
What a fucking load of fucking crap. If the bitch had moved down here like she said she was, whether we broke up or not, I would have a much greater influence on Sam’s life: for example, I was reading by the time I was 3. But hey, what’s paternal involvement anyway, when you have good friends who promise to go to Canada and promise to help you out in any way they can. Has Amy the Gorilla made more than two appearances north of the border yet? Is she supplementing my child support? Who needs paternal involvement when your parents say they’ll help out too? Why not ask them instead, since their advice so far has been SO fucking helpful and constructive.
“How do you teach a kid to read”. By example: read to him. Get easy books like “Hop on Pop”, “Green Eggs and Ham”, “Go Dog Go” and others.
I was going to leave for NJ tonight, but I am so fucking angry right now, I’m just sitting and stewing.
God almighty I need a fucking drink.
One Response to “How Do You Teach a Kid to Read?”
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August 5th, 2006 at 12:15 am
… and that drink is called “Rage-ohol”, followed by a couple of shots of spite, resentment, and self-loathing.